Saint Eural, anti-patroness of charlatans, fakes, quacks and cosmetic surgeons, false prophets, missionaries, licentious ecclesiastics, television evangelicals, holier than thous and closer to god than thees. As a young grifter, Eural's boyish good looks secured her a position toiling away in a secluded vault of Vatican archives. In a very short time she found herself a candidate for canonization – not only in tribute to her tireless service, but also to forestall the airing of certain church documents that divulged the history of rape, torture, carnage, graft, pillage, molestation and murder committed by, at the behest, and with the blessings of our most Holy Fathers.

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