They also helped solve some sticky theological problems; such as how to entice recruits for the tasks of plunder, murder and torture, when normally it was preached that such actions would lead to the eternal damnation of the soul. Well, indulgences turned out to be just the ticket. Just imagine the kind of behavior you might expect from a marauding band of criminals and religious fanatics that have been forgiven in advance for any atrocity they might commit.

One Dominican monk named Johann Tetzel – mouthpiece, commissioner, and preacher of indulgences - claimed that even if someone had slept with Christ's Mother, the Pope had power to forgive as long as the money was put into the indulgences coffer. And if the Pope would forgive, God also had to forgive. In sum and substance: God was no longer God, as he had bestowed all divine power to the Pope.

Not to be out done by our competitors, the Church of the Enigmata will soon be making available - to the most faithless of the flock - our very own Indulgence card. With the purchase of this card you are almost guaranteed the remission of punishment still due for a conformity that has been enigmatically absolved.

At this time you are invited to view this sacred document, read the fine print, and consider the implications for your social life if you were to have one of these little items in your possession...